I was having a chat with my friend today and we were talking about the 5 wounds of the soul. These wounds are betrayal, injustice, abandonment, humiliation and rejection. Every single person on this planet has experienced at least 2 wounds in their lifetime. These wounds cause deep seated trauma and eventually shape the way we think, how we feel about ourselves and how we see the world.
What was interesting in our conversation was the topic of self awareness. As we get older and embark on this healing journey, we can come to terms with a traumatic experience like divorce or abuse, lean into the lesson and keep it moving. But is that really it? If these wounds have changed the very core of our lives, then learning the lesson does not equate to being healed from that trauma. The wound is not healed because you are in fact still the same.
For example, If you have been rejected all your life, you learn that everyone won’t see your worth and that is ok because it does not diminish the awesomeness of who you are. Overtime though, you find yourself becoming withdrawn and introverted. Maybe you don’t keep people too close for the fear of rejection and only accept perfection from yourself so as to not be rejected by the few you open up to. You weren’t always like this, but the way you are now is the “mask” you have accepted to wear as part of your core characteristics. This “mask” is a result of trauma.
Am I saying that people can’t change? Of course not, evolution is a part of our human experience, but is going from a rambunctious, fearless extrovert into a withdrawn, isolated person considered evolving? It sounds like devolution to me. This is where self awareness comes in. To acknowledge that something about you has indeed changed, but not necessarily for the better. When we can sit with ourselves and take inventory of who we truly are, then we can begin to take responsibility for the after effects of the trauma so we can begin to heal.
This is where the “active” part of healing comes in. Active healing involves embracing new paradigms and reprogramming the mind so new habits and behaviours will follow. Below are a few ways we can begin the active haling process.
To be self aware is to understand your own thoughts, emotions and triggers related to traumatic events and experiences. It allows you to identify areas of healing and focus your efforts effectively with reflective questions and new perspectives. Meditation is a great way to begin cultivating self awareness so you can become more conscious of your words and actions.
Emotional Processing is another way to actively heal. It is the process of allowing your emotions to flow through journaling, therapy or just talking to trusted individuals. Keeping the pain within is debilitating to not only the spirit and the mind but the body too. Talking and writing is a healthy way to empty your cup so to speak, to work through challenging emotions and allow for healthy expression and release.
Setting boundaries is very important during the healing process. Healthy boundaries must be put in place with relationships and situations in order to create a safe and supportive environment for yourself. Sometimes active healing can mean severing ties with people, learning to say no and abstaining from things that don’t leave room for you to work on yourself.
The most important aspect to active healing is self care, self forgiveness and compassion for oneself. You cannot get very far in the healing process if you are still beating yourself up about the past. It’s time to give yourself grace and extend kindness, understanding and acceptance to yourself. Get outside and ground with Trees, partake in healing rituals that nourish the spirit, get active, go get a massage or join that dance class. Punishing yourself does not serve anybody, it’s time to forgive, honour the lesson that the experience brought, begin implementing healthy ways to remove the “mask” of injustice so you can truly, actively heal.